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A Tough Story To Write

Hey everyone, hope you’re doing well. If you haven’t already, please check out my latest short story. Part One is here and Part Two here.

For today’s chatty post, I wanted to discuss a piece I’ve just finished. It’s for a competition and the brief was simply “Life Writing” or in other words it needs to be about an experience of the authors that’s “intended to be true, but not fiction.” At first I was a bit confused, so I decided to just pick a prominent experience I’ve had in life and write about it.

I usually tend to lean towards more sad experiences. I believe sadness is such a powerful emotion, it is often the dark times that wedge themselves into your memory rather than the happy. Or maybe that’s just my pessimism.

I decided to write about regret. I wrote a short story of around 5 pages based on an experience I had as a teenager, that still visits me in my moments of contentedness. Almost as if it demands to be acknowledged, and for it to be acknowledged, I need to feel all the emotions that come with it. Grief, anguish, sadness, regret and then some more regret.

It’s the first time I have ever written about my grandad. For those who don’t know, I lost my grandad in 2017 and it has taken almost 3 years to be able to think of him without crying. However, as I reflected on this moment in my life that I shared with him, I did cry. I cried when I remembered the day, I cried after I wrote my first sentence and I cried once it was finished.

It was extremely difficult to write. I hope in writing it, I will somehow find the strength to put the regret I feel to bed, for good. I’m not feeling it just yet though.

Maybe once the competition is over, I will post it here.

To end this post on a slightly happier note, here is a book recommendation.

I said this was a happier note? Apparently I don’t know the meaning of it. Although this book is sad, it follows a group of friends who undergo awful treatment, but still manage to salvage something from it. Small victories in a life full of large downfalls, are still victories worth celebrating.


Jen X

17 thoughts on “A Tough Story To Write

  1. There’s a gentleness in your writing that touches my heart. I had a huge loss in 2017 too and still feel deep regret and guilt. The story prompt was very difficult to interpret but I think you did splendidly. Good luck on all your writing.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s such a nice compliment, thank you so much. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Grief is a tricky thing isn’t it. We’re not often told that it never goes away. We just learn to live with it, somehow. Guilt and regret are also tricky. Especially when there’s no way to rectify things with our loved ones. As cliche as it sounds, I’m sure they wouldn’t want us to live in regret. Though, it is up to us to forgive ourselves someday. Perhaps not today or the next, but one day we must let go.
      Thank you so much for your lovely comment❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope that you can find peace from all of it (talking and writing about those things are a good help). Regret is an awful thing to hold on to. I don’t know what circumstances inspired your story but if it involved your grandfather (whom I only know of from a previous post of yours), I don’t believe he’d be the type to hold it against you or want you to have those regrets yourself.

    That’s just from the limited knowledge I have though so I do apologize if I crossed a line with that statement. Hope you get to feeling better.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much. You haven’t crossed any lines so please don’t worry. My grandad was so forgiving and he knew me better than anyone. He knew how sensitive I can be, he knew how to get past my walls of anxiety and make me laugh.
      You are very right in saying he would never want me to live with such regret. Its something I’ve tried to tell myself for years. I’ve been told I am too hard on myself and it’s true. It’s something I’m working on and hopefully one day I can feel better about this situation.
      Thank you for the kind words!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I wouldn’t know that grief could be expressed in beauty the way you’ve wrote it to be. Your grandfather would be so proud of you. Mine passed away a couple of years back, now looking back there’s so many memories he has left me with,somehow their sweet souls would always stay with us 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You know the funny part about me, in the post I Will writte short poems and Little anicdotes of my life but when I write short stories or my try to novella it all comes in a comedic form if only to tell you the new novella I´m writing is called ” The Priest and the Psychologist”…. just comes out that way no matter what my personal experiences are, that is my true art I think, not the blog. But people do like to see the dummy the hash situations and the rest, so I just hang it out in the posts.
    By the way I have a pink hat that would go great with you in the gravatar

    Liked by 1 person

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