Creative Writing · Poetry

Dear Lord

Hey everyone hope you’re well.

I found this photograph of a poem I wrote over 3 years ago. I wrote this while my grandad was still alive. I’m not sharing this because I think it is a good poem. It’s not. But what it is, is a glimpse into the demise of my faith and the extent of my heartbreak.

I miss my grandad so much it hurts. Its been 3 years but the pain is as demanding and fresh as it was when these words were written.

I wish I had something happier for you all to read during this hardtime. But anyone who has read even a couple of posts on my blog will know, I don’t do happiness.

Stay safe.

Creative Writing · Poetry

Passing Comment: A Poem

Authors note: Hey everyone, here is a poem I just wrote. It’s funny because last night I was thinking about how I haven’t written any poetry and that was because I haven’t felt depressed in a little while. I felt surprisingly happy and was glad I hadn’t written any poetry as it seemed like a good sign. But today I haven’t been good. Today has been hard and a conversation I had earlier sparked this poem. I hope you enjoy it.


It was just a passing comment

It was just a nostalgic trip

About how happy your childhood was

About how you look back with fondness

It made my eyes flash with memories

It made my eyes brim with tears

But you didn’t know how I was feeling

But you would never understand even if you did

I hope you know it wasn’t out of jealousy

I hope you know it wasn’t out of spite

Words have such power

Words can take you back

They take you to a place you have fought to escape

They take you to a place you have prayed to forget

It was just a passing comment

It was just

A

Passing

Comment.


Signed,

Jen X

Blog · Creative Writing · Poetry

My Anxious Thoughts Before An Interview!

Hello everyone!

I had my first job interview in what feels like years today. I won’t say where but it is a well known company in London.

I am usually very good in an interview setting, although inside I am falling apart until the last minute.

I got to my interview 45 minutes early which is good, but that also meant there’s more time to panic. I have been known to panic so much to the point I turn around and don’t even go to the interview. I build it up to be the most terrifying thing ever. Which in a way, it is.

A lot of my anxiety stems from an intense fear of embarrassing myself or being judged. The issue with interviews is, that’s the point, to be judged.

It was a group interview which makes it even worse.

I decided to use my spare time to write some thoughts down. Some are a bit like poems, others are just quotes.

The main one I wrote again and again was:

It’s okay to be afraid as long as you try.

So that’s what I did. I tried my best and that’s all I could do.

I thought I would share some more of my thoughts here as I found it so helpful to get them out on paper right before taking a deep breath and being the best version of myself possible.


We are all in the same boat

But what if this boat sinks?

Don’t fret it will stay afloat

But what if the winds take us away?

Don’t fret everything will be okay


Familiarity

Differences

Same

Opposite

Breathe

Choke

Can

Can’t

You must

I will


It’s okay to be afraid

It’s okay to want to run

But it’s not okay to give up

You must try your best

It’s all you can do.


People rushing past me

I wonder where they’ve been

Or where they’re going

Their faces a vision of focus

Their eyes glued straight ahead

I steal a look once or twice

But we quickly divert our gaze

We have all been places

We are all going places

But where?

You Sir, are you okay?

Excuse me miss would you like a hand?

I would like very much to understand

How we all live alone in our minds

But we’re never really alone

Everywhere you look there’s people

Happy, sad, depressed or other

Why cant we all be kinder to eachother?

Instead people rush past me

And I can’t help wondering

Who they are


So there’s a little insight into the mind of an introverted anxious interviewee.

Hope you enjoyed!

Signed,

Jen X

Blog · Poetry

While: A Poem

Thank you to Luna for posting my poem to her blog! This is a personal one but I hope someone out there can identify with it x

Luna

Left alone again
While colours and patterns consume you
Sweet dreams and hope settle around your slumbering body
While I am tormented by my mind
Black butterflies invade my churning stomach
While I look upon my sleeping love
Not a single dream appears to be of me
While I doubt and doubt and doubt
Not you, but me
While the sting of hot tears briefly warms my raw skin
Where are you? Where are you?
While I handle this sharp blade
Contemplating, longing for a different sting
While I try to push the evil aside
The anger, oh this anger is raging inside
While I pull my hair hoping for relief
Left alone again
Alone
Again.

I have just started my blog to document my writing journey! I would never go as far to say I am a poet, but I do dabble in poetry now and again.  I only…

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